Voodoo Walrus: More Fun than a Barrel Full of Pickled Howler Monkeys.

(Reconstructed from a series of Twitter posts made by Grymm earlier in the week. Transcribed and re-edited by his team of so-called “skip-weasel” caretakers/personal assistants.)

Sometimes ya just gotta grab the Day by its ruffling, oozing, neck-fat and wrestle it into submission. But watch out. The Day’s all sweaty and greasy and gross. Shiny with liquid-filth.
So you put on your trusty Day-Wrasslin’ gloves first. Then you put an apron, just in case. Then the Day starts squealin’ and flappin’ its arm nubs all around, all angry like.

So you’re all “Fuck this noise” and you break out yer dual, dull, meat-forks. And you just start flailing around. Stabbin’ at the Day’s nubs and crevices. But the Day starts vomiting acid on you and crying and squelching and rumbling. And you’re glad you wore your kevlar that day. It buys a little time.

But time runs out and reality doesn’t issue refunds, so y’toss the fumin’ smoldering kevlar at the Day, and the Day screams like roasted koala that’s getting eviscerated by dingos. The Day rushes you, wailing on you with its nubs and its growths, and its squeaking, shrieking tumorous gut-growths of a thousand hideous, unloved abortions.

So you take your acid-raped meat forks and drive them home, deep through the Day’s face, right for the brain. Too late you realize the horrible skittering truth… The Day has no brain! Just spiders! Billions of spiders! And they’re biting your forks! The Day is bellowing, and you’re screaming and stuff all around you is on fire for some reason.

So with one last bedraggled burst of filthy, spider-bitten vigor, you rush the spastic mental cripple that is the Day, screaming with all your fury. All your frustration. Teeth gnash! Fingers curl and twist and tear and gnarl! Nostrils flare and things explode for no reason! The viscera flies and splatters! Smearing the ground. Wobbly chunks stick and jiggle on the tattered remnants of your bloodied apron.

Soon enough, you stand in the desiccated ruins that was your opponent. Chest heaving. Breath hitching in your throat. Eyes burning. Gore caked to you. You feel your blood on fire and your fingers mindlessly flexing and curling around the empty air. Its right then that the fury begins to subside. The primal lizard brain going dormant once again and mammalian reasoning shakes itself back into liveliness. Realization strikes you. You have just wasted the entirety that was the Day. And you fall to your filth-caked knees

You sleep then. The Day is gone and you sleep the sleep of the dirty and victorious. Grime under your nails and muscles cooling from the fire of your kill. Another day… comes to a close.

For those of you who haven’t checked out Marron’s other site, Avenger’s Tower (which you should have, as it’s linked right here on the site), it is a must read for comic book fans everywhere. Not to sound like a corny advertiser (it’s unavoidable), but I don’t make my pulls before reading what she and her partner in comicdom crime DarkSakura have to say in regards to the latest books available for my perusal. So… go look! And now… listen, with their first podcast! If nothing else, it’s two awesome geek girls talking about comics. Better than that Lady GaGa shit they’ve been playing on the radio.

… why are you still reading? GO NOW!!!

Hey guys. Now that I’m back from outer space, I’m going to be doing some much-needed maintenance on the Voodoo Walrus website. The website will be down tonight, Sunday the 6th, at around 6pm PST. Don’t worry; maintenance will only take me about an hour, and things will be back up before you can say “FRANKOBO! DON’T EAT THE CAT!…. AGAIN!”

As you may have noticed, Voodoo Walrus doesn’t prescribe to the normal web comic format. There is no fluffy cute art traced in Illustrator or Photoshop. There are no references to pop culture, no 80s hair bands, no video games or movies. And above all, there is no cell shaded coloring.

The style, especially in the coloring department, is a constantly evolving beast. Why don’t I find one coloring style and just stick to it? Well, simply put, that just doesn’t work for Voodoo Walrus. How can I color a strip about Hobo Jesus the same way that I color one about keeping the tiny, fanged men at bay? I don’t control the colors; the colors do as they please. In the case of today’s strip, I decided to go with a different look and feel than the last few comics, which were mostly monochromatic. I’m a bit of an art history geek, and it only seemed fair that if people like Masaccio, da Vinci, and Michelangelo all depicted the “real” Jesus in fresco that I should do my best to emulate a painterly style.

Overall, I think it worked out pretty well.

So, despite the popularity of sites like Twitter and Facebook, Livejournal still exists.

Do you have a livejournal? Would you like to know when Voodoo Walrus is updating, but don’t follow one of us on Twitter? Well, worry not! I’ve created a syndication feed over at Livejournal that you can add to your friends list for your convenience. To add the syndication to your LJ friends list, simply go to http://syndicated.livejournal.com/voodoowalruscmx and subscribe!

It’s just that easy!